He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
