Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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