At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
