I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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