My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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