Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
