he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
