i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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