U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
What a dumb baby whore.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
