I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
