windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Panties = found
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