Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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