Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
