At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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