Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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