At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
