he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
