Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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