Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize