i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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