so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No subtext here. People are naked.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
