Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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