i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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