how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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