the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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