but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
