i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Sober January is a disaster.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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