So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
