I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
