So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
