I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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