I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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