ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
