Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
