I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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