god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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