he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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