I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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