She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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