If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
