ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize