tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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