i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
