You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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