is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
