Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Hippo gnu deer
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
