Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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