Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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