I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Vodka?
Forever.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
