he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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