Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
