I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
