You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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