Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
