sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
