If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
