I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
