I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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