I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
