at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
