dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
