At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
