How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Alive.
So much puke
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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