Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
