would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
