what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
When are your genitals available?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
