do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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