I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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