Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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