friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
