fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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