So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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