Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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