at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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