I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize