for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Every concussion has its silver lining
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
