he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
