So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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