I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
