around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
