I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
