you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
