she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
