Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
